Hi!

I’m Katrina, and I am a mom of three kids currently living overseas. My husband and I are from the Washington DC area, but lived in Spain for a little over 3 years, and now live in Japan for his work.

I’m the artist and heart behind Lindale Studios, but I also want to use my account to share about the overseas portion of our lives. As much as I love traveing etc with my family, and the fun parts of living overseas, I want to time every once in a while to share from the heart. 

 

This been the first and last year where all my kids were in the same school, and it was really special. I learned a lot this year, and let go of a lot of fear that had overtaken me a couple of years ago. I became more steady, more excited about the coming years raising the girls. I focused less on the fear, and more on the just being present, being aware, and creating a safe space. In honor of Mothers Day I wanted to share this. I usually love a beautiful photo with my girls and a post about Mothers Day, but this year I just wanted to share from the heart and share what I’ve learned “past the little” years. I preface all of this by saying we are not in the trenches of toddlerhood any more…no more diapers, potty training, naps, or crazy meltdowns. We have our days, but the hard looks so much difference now, and I’m learning to embrace it.

 

In the beginning….

When I first became a mom, actually, when I was pregnant with my first baby, I remember having lots of thoughts and opinions…of course right? 

I was not a “Type A” first mom, but when it came to the do’s and dont’s, I thought I had it down…what did I know? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. LESS THAN NOTHING. 

I felt like there were multiple different “sides” in the mom world. Everything from “natural child birth only ” to “c-section warriors” to “make your own baby food,” and “don’t let them ever watch tv.” I heard “Don’t give up your career or working” to “staying at home is the best.” 

 

I didn’t fit in anywhere. Did I struggle? Yes. Where would I fit in?

I truly believed God had a plan for my life, but what did that mean? I still had to plan and do stuff! 

 

It was in a constant cycle of asking questions, doubting myself, getting excited, and then doubting myself again regarding every aspect of life that affected my kids and our family. This was throughout every age and new stage. 

Once we moved overseas, and my brain began to process living in a new place I started to realize some social differences, and now living in Asia, the differences worldwide are even more different. 

From what I had seen and experienced, the goal in America is to always stand out, be the best, be competitive, and do the most. Plan for the future, or get left behind. Make a list of everything you are willing to sacrifice in order to have the best future and best life you dreamed of…In great contrast, I learned that blending in, and not always being different was the way to go at times. 

 

What changed? Honestly. Moving overseas.

I learned the value of living in community like I had never seen before (and I had a great community before!), but this was on a whole other level. And it wasn’t because we were all the same, we had to build trust and relationships so much faster. There wasn’t time to think too deeply about things, and hope everything lined up in the friendships. This WAS HARD at times, but it ended up teaching me a lot, and in turn had me learn things I was forced to pass down to my girls. 

That may sound strange to some of you, but it’s the truth:) Having the alone feeling in another country and having to get over not fitting in taught me that it is OK. It’s OK to be different, in the fact that it’s ok to blend in. To not have a plan for every moment.

I had to let go of everything from school expectations, to church expectations, to relationship expectations.

 

As I began to change, so did my thoughts about motherhood, because outside of my faith, and my marriage, raising my girls was the most of important thing 

 

In the quiet space, I was able to start seeing more beauty in the everyday. This branched into being more intentional with my girls, and teaching them what I saw as an artist.

 

I saw moms and dad’s just “being” not talking about how many hours they worked, and prioritizing friends and family over money and a bigger house. I saw them taking their kids everywhere in a culture that didn’t always expect you to pay a sitter. 

I learned to be flexible (and I was already pretty flexible), and to find “common denominators” with people I had just met, and jump into friendships. To make coffee dates just because we spoke the same language, and our kids needed friends.

In the trenches of motherhood, I learned a lot about people, and friendships.

I learned a lot about what real encouragement is, how life goes by fast, and how its ok to completely change your mind and thoughts to fit the needs of your family, more specifically your children. To not just base them on just how your home country sees life, but to gather thoughts about raising kids from all the places you have visited, realizing that different doesn’t mean bad. Even if its culturally NOT the norm.

 

I saw mothers and their children in different parts of the world happy, and content, and hard working, and doing life very differently than what I was used to seeing.

I felt as though I was walking “out of” someone who I was very uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. But now, I have found its the best place to be.

 

BACK TO MOTHERHOOD. I wanted to share with you my thoughts as a sort of then and now…I’m sure they will change again. For those of you in the trenches of the little years, don’t take yourself so seriously. Your kids change, their needs change, and yours do too.

 

From little encouragements I remind myself, or things I pray about, to keeping our home “sort of” organized, these are the things that come to mind:

 

Here are 12 realizations that have hit me HARD over the last few years, and I’m finally here to trust God and embrace whatever He has for us as a family.

Ok, here we go:

1.I thought: I need to know the possible outcomes and the repercussions for the girls in multiple different way for each move and the country we will live in.

Now: 

Stop trying to predict the future. I need to let the girls work through hard things, and be a safe space during the really great AND hard moments AND seasons. I don’t want them to be surprised by having to walk through hard things.

 

2. I thought: I need to work more so I can give my girls more, and any future children we choose to bring into our home.

Now:

You don’t always need more. You can’t buy more time. The right opportunities will come, and God is always faithful. BUT Remember that work is good.

 

3. I thought: Moving too many times may not be good for the kids.

Now:

Raising my kids in now three continents, seeing the world, and constantly having discussions about life and history will benefit them in ways I never even saw.

 

4. I thought:

I need to make sure every need is met for each child all the time.

Now:

There are seasons where one of my kid’s needs take priority. It teaches patience, love, and resilience in ways that can’t be taught to the other kids.

 

5. I thought: I need to set aside time everyday after school for the kids to talk to me.

Now:

I need to be available to talk when they come to me. Don’t “schedule” the talks now, in order to free up more time for them later.

 

6. I thought: They need so much help.

Now:

It’s ok and good to push my kids to be independent. I can have boundaries even with endless amounts of love.

 

7. I thought: I need to be more domestic (what does that even mean?!) so the girls know how to run a home. 

Now:

That thought isn’t bad, BUT I need to raise them to be creative, innovative, and quick thinking in a world that changes all the time. This way, they can learn to be prepared, and think on their feet.

 

8. I thought: They just have a mom who is only an artist.

Now:

I have the ability to show them beauty and good things in a world that is hard. I can teach them a skill that is not easily learned or taught. I can give them the gift of creativity,

 

9. I thought: I have to make sure we hit a variety of outside activites.

Now:

Teach the basics, but let them explore what they love to do. Help them see how they can use what they know to help others, be independent and show others Jesus’ love.

 

10. I thought: 

Im never sending my kids to school.

Now: I will teach my child to stand up for herself, and be comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to never be afraid to tell me anything.

 

11. I thought: I need to protect them from everything.

Now:

I can CONSTANTLY tell my kids its OK to hurt, be happy, be sad, struggle, and to deal with hard things. The feelings of sadness, and disappointment, etc are apart of life. The question is, how do we handle those feelings, and what do we do with them?

 

12. I thought: Why can’t I keep up with our house…I’m a failure.

Now:

Tidy is better than nothing, and having less IS MORE.  P.S. The kids can do a lot more than you think they can.

 

My heart and opinions could change again…you never know. God is always working, and I know that He loves my kids more than I do. I’m here to do the hard work, but I’m not here to live in fear, and there is more that one way of doing things:)

Thoughts?